Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 6, 2007 20:15:07 GMT -8
First, the list of songs. Script will come later when I type it out.
Characters: Chiffon- one of the Doo-Wop girls Crystal- one of the Doo-Wop girls Ronnette- one of the Doo-Wop girls Mushnik- the owner of the shop Seymour- the geeky florist Audrey- the girlfriend Orin/Customer/Wino #2/Radio guy/narrator/Bernstein/Mrs. Luce/Skip Snip/Patrick Martin- ...everyone else. XD Audrey II/ Wino #1- the Voice Audrey II puppeteer/Wino #3- the Plant
Orin: Prologue Downtown/Skid Row Dentist! Now (It's Just the Gas) The Meek Shall Inherit Finale Ultimo/ Don't Feed the Plants
Audrey II: Feed Me (Git It) Suppertime Sominex/Suppertime II Finale Ultimo/Don't Feed the Plants
Audrey: Downtown/Skid Row Somewhere That's Green Closed for Renovation Call Back in the Morning Suddenly, Seymour Sominex/Suppertime II Somewhere That's Green (Reprise) Finale Ultimo/Don't Feed the Plants
Mushnik: Downtown/Skid Row Ya Never Know Closed for Renovation Mushnik and Son Suppertime Finale Ultimo/Don't Feed the Plants
Seymour: Downtown/Skid Row Da-Doo Grow for Me Ya Never Know Closed for Renovation Mushnik and Son Feed Me (Git It) Now (It's Just the Gas) Call Back in the Morning Suddenly, Seymour The Meek Shall Inherit Finale Ultimo/Don't Feed the Plants
The Girls (Chiffon, Ronnette, Crystal) Little Shop of Horrors Downtown/Skid Row Da-Doo Ya Never Know Dentist! Feed Me (Git It) Act I Finale Suddenly, Seymour Suppertime The Meek Shall Inherit Finale Ultimo/Don't Feed the Plants
Twoey Puppeteer Downtown/Skid Row
NEXT: A brief description of this musical and the songs. And then the songs themselves. Press "Control+F" to search for the song you want in the next few posts.
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 6, 2007 20:48:57 GMT -8
Eh, I'm too lazy to think of something on my own. I'll just use the description found in one of my LSoH CD cases. ACT ONE: A Motown-style Greek Chorus, composing of three Skid Row street urchins, admonishes the audience about the cautionary fable they are about to witness (LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS). The style of the music makes it clear that this "decade not too long before out own" is the '60s, and we are on Skid Row, in some major American metropolis. Quickly, we find ourselves in Mushnik's Skid Row Florist, and meet its proprietor, the often-apoplectic Mr, Mushnik, its ditzy salesgirl, Audrey, and its much put-upon chief clerk, Seymour Krelbourn. All of them are living in dire circumstances- Mushnik isbroke, Audrey is trapped in a frightening relationship with a sadist who has just blackened her eye, and Seymour just wants to know why he was put on this earth. All of them yearn for escape to a better place (DOWNTOWN/SKID ROW). At the end of another brutal, customer-free day, Mushnik announces he is closing the shop for good, but Audrey and Seymour try to change his mind by introducing him to a "strange and interesting" new plant Seymour has discoveres- a kind of unique, flytrapish species which Seymour has named, in honor of his secret love for Audrey, the Audrey II. Mushnik seriously doubts that a single exotic plant could possibly have much of a positive impact on business, but no sooner has the Audrey II been placed in the window than a customer is at the door, ordering up $100 worth of roses, and asking about the origin of Seymour's discovery. Seymour explains, with back-up help from the urchins (DA-DOO). Left alone, Seymour frets over the delicate state of Audrey II's health, and, inadvertently, discovers what the plant needs to grow big and strong- namely, a diet of human blood (GROW FOR ME). And grow is what Audrey II does. When we next meet her, she is several sizes larger, and Seymour is concluding the first of a series of radio interviews promoting his plant and Mushnik's shop, which is now thriving (YA NEVER KNOW). Audrey, meanwhile, remains trapped in her unhappy and dangerous romance, and yearns for something better, even letting thoughts of a future with Seymour sneak into her mind, against her better judgement (SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN). Prosperity encourages Mushnik to modernize (CLOSED FOR RENOVATION) and finally we meet Audrey's frightening boyfriend, a nitrous-oxide-snorting motorcycle goon who explains his fascination with human pain to the three skeptical urchins (DENTIST!). He also taunts Seymour about the naiveté of keeping the Audrey II down on Skid Row when he could take the plant to any florist shop in town and "name your price". Overhearing this, Mushnik decides to take drastic action, and, in an attempt to tie himself to Seymour and the prosperity that the Audrey II has created, offers to adopt Seymour and make him a partner (MUSHNIK AND SON). The plant is now a formidable monster, and Seymour is notably anemic, having fed it in secret all these weeks with his own blood. But the cost is becoming impossible to bear. And Audrey II, tired of waiting for a decent meal, decides it's time to ask for what it needs in plain English. Seymour is stunned that his plant can not only talk and move, but also has wicked powers of persuasion. It's more than he bargained for. Much more. In a rousing soul shout (FEED ME/GIT IT), the plant dangles one temptation after another in front of Seymour, if he will only cooperate in finding the plant some lunch. In the end, Audrey II obligingly points Seymour at the perfect victim- Audrey's vicious boyfriend, the dentist. The next day finds Seymour paying a visit to Orin Scrivello, D.D.S., with every intention of gunning him down. But Orin overpowers his would-be assassin, and proposes to give Seymour a thorough going-over with his drill. In preparation for this event, however, the dentist decides he needs a little nitrous oxide to maximize his own enjoyment. While Seymour frets about the moral implications of committing murder, Orin's gas mask gets stuck, and, as Seymour watches, the dentist literally laughs himself to death (NOW/IT'S JUST THE GAS). As Act One ends, we see Seymour, full of self-revulsion, feeding pieces of the dentist to the maniacal Audrey II.
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 6, 2007 21:00:33 GMT -8
ACT TWO: Business is booming, Audrey II is enormous, and Mushnik's is quickly becoming the most prestigious florist in the country, filling orders for everyone from the local high school prom to the Rose Bowl (CALL BACK IN THE MORNING). But Audrey is depressed, anxious, and riddled with guilt over the "sudden disappearance" of Orin. She feels responsible because she admits to Seymour, "Secretly, I wished it." Seymour realizes that this is the moment for him to be a real hero and come to the rescue of the girl (SUDDENLY, SEYMOUR), and suddenly, they are in each other's arms, hopelessly in love and proud to admit it. But such happiness is necessarily short-lived, especially on Skid Row. Mushnik arrives, announcing that he has been dragged into an investigation of Orin's disappearance, and that all signs point to Seymour as the culprit, especially now that he has taken up with the dentist's girlfriend. Pushed to the wall, and encouraged by the ever-watchful Audrey II, Seymour does the only thing he can think of to do, which is to make Mr. Mushnik his next victim, and Audrey II's next meal (SUPPERTIME). Seymour has now passed the point of no return. A series of lucrative and flattering offers come pouring in. They will make him rich and famous, and, thinking that this is what will please Audrey, he accedes to all of them (THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT). But there is no happy ending in sight. Audrey II is always hungry, and Seymour is trapped in a vortex of guilt and shame. He makes a decision: as soon as the plant is photographed for Life magazine, he will destroy it, take Audrey and move to the suburb she has been craving. But in an unguarded moment, Audrey wanders into the shop and is attacked by the giant monster that was named for her (SOMINEX/SUPPERTIME II). Seymour returns to find her mortally wounded, and his life ruined (SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN REPRISE). Now he is visited by a marketing grnius offering "a simple licensing agreement" by which little Audrey IIs, taken from cuttings, will be sold all over America, and, eventually, the world. In a desperate attempt to prevent the inevitable, Seymour attacks the plant that made him a celebrity, but it is too late; he's no match for the all-powerful Audrey II. And, moments later, the little cuttings in little pots that will complete the plant's plan for world domination are on their way out the door, and the audience is reminded of the terrible cost of making deals with the devil (FINALE ULTIMO/DON'T FEED THE PLANTS).
Thanks to the Little Shop of Horrors Broadway Revival Cast Recording CD for that lovely summary!
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 6, 2007 21:04:00 GMT -8
Everything in parenthesis is spoken. *nodnod*
--PROLOGUE-- ([Narrator] On the twenty-first day of the month of September In an early year of a decade not too long before our own There existed a deadly threat to our very existence And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, In the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.)
--LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS-- [Skid Row Girls] Little shop Little shop of horrors Little shop Little shop of terrors Call the cops Little shop of horrors No! Oh oh oh no-oh!
Little shop Little shop of horrors Bop sh'bop Little shop of terrors Watch 'em drop Little shop of horrors No! Oh oh oh no-oh!
[Chiffon] Shing-a-ling, what a creepy thing to be happening!
[Crystal] Look Out!
[Ronette] Look Out!
[Chiffon] Look Out!
[All] Look Out
[Chiffon] Shang-a-lang, feel the sturm und drang in the air.
[All] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Chiffon] Sha-la-la, stop right where you are. Don't you move a thing.
[Skid Row Girls] You better, Tellin' you, you better Tell your mama somethin's gonna get her. She better, ev'rybody better beware.
[Skid Row Girls] Oh, here it comes, baby. Tell those bums, baby. Oh, no, no. Oh, hit the dirt, baby. Red alert, baby. Oh, oh, no, Oh, oh-oh, no.
[Crystal] Alley Oop, haul it off the stoop. Child I'm warnin' you.
[Chiffon] Look out!
[Crystal] Look out!
[Ronette] Look out!
[All] Look out!
[Crystal] Run away. Child, you gotta pay if you fail.
[All] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Crystal] Look around. Somethin's comin' down, down the street for you.
[All] You betcha, you bet your butt you betcha. Best believe it, somethin's out ta getcha. You betcha, you better watch your back and your tail.
[Skid Row Girls] Comma comma comma. Little shop little shoppa horrors. Bop sh'bop, You'll never stop the terror Little shop Little shoppa horrors. No! No no n'no! No no n'no! No no n'no-oh oh oh!
--DOWNTOWN/SKID ROW-- [Chiffon] Alarm goes off at seven and you start uptown. You put in your eight hours for the powers that have always been.
[Ronnette] Sing it, child.
[Chiffon] 'Til it's five p.m.
[Wino #2] Then you go
[Girls] Downtown Where the folks are broke You go Downtown Where your life's a joke You go Downtown When you buy your token, you go- Home to Skid Row!
Home to Skid Row!
[Wino #2] Yes, you go
[All] Downtown
[Wino #1] Where the cabs don't stop.
[All] Downtown
[Mushnik] Where the food is slop.
[All] Downtown Where the hop-heads flop in the snow! Down on Skid Row!
[Girls] Uptown you cater to a million jerks Uptown your messengers and mailroom clerks Eatin' all your lunches at the hot-dog carts The bosses take your money And they break your hearts
And uptown you cater to a million whores You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors Jobs are really meanial, You'll make no bread And then at five o'clock you head
[Wino #3] By subway
[All] Downtown
[Audrey] Where the guys are drips.
[All] Downtown
[Audrey] Where they rip your slips. Downtown Where relationships are no-go.
[All] Down on Skid Row!
[Seymour] Poor! All my life, I've always been poor! I keep asking God what I'm for, And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure... Sweep that floor, kid" Oh! I started life as an orphan, A child of the street, here on Skid Row! He took me in, gave me shelter, A bed, crust of bread, and a job- Treats me like dirt, Calls me a slob, Which I am! So I live...
[All except Audrey] Downtown
[Seymour] That's your home address, ya live
[All except Audrey] Downtown
[Seymour] When your life's a mess, ya live
[All except Audrey] Downtown
[Seymour] Where depression's jes' status quo!
[All except Audrey] Down on Skid Row!
[Seymour] Someone show me a way to get outa here Cause I constantly pray I'll get outa here Please won't somebody say I'll get outa here Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here!
{lyrics A and B are sung at the same time, C and D will be sung at the same time}
[Seymour](A) [All except Audrey] (B) Show me how and I will, Downtown I'll get outta here There's no rules for us, I'll start climbin' up hill Downtown- and get outta here Cause it's dangerous Someone tell me I still Downtown could get outta here Where the rainbow's just Someone tell lady luck A no-show! that I'm stuck here When you live...
[Seymour & Audrey] (C) [Everyone else](D) Gee, it sure would Downtown be swell Where the sun don't To get outta here shine! Bid the gutter fare- Downtown well Past the bottom and get outta here line I'd move heaven and Downtown hell Go ask any wino, to get outta Skid He'll know I'd do I-dunno-what to get outta Skid, But a hell of a lot Downtown to get outta Skid, People tell me Downtown theres not a way outta Skid But believe me I Downtown gotta get outta...
[All] Skid Row!
--DA-DOO-- [Girls] Da-doo
([Seymour] I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day)
[Girls] Shoop-da-doo
([Seymour] and I passed by this place with this old Chinese man-)
[Girls] Chang-da-doo
([Seymour] -He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings-)
[Girls] Snip-da-doo
([Seymour] -'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby!)
[Girls] Da-da-da-da-da Da-doo
([Seymour] He didn't have anything unusual there that day.)
[Girls] Nope da-doo
([Seymour] And I was about to- you know- walk on by.)
[Girls] Good for you
([Seymour] When suddenly and without warning, there was this...)
[Seymour and Girls] Total eclipse of the sun!
([Seymour] It got very dark. And then I heard a strange humming sound, like something from another world.)
[Girls] Da-doo
([Seymour] And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there.)
[Girls] Oops-ee-doo
([Seymour] Just stuck in, you know, among the zinnias?)
[Girls] Aud-ree-Two
([Seymour] I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before. but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyway.)
[Girls] ([Seymour] For a dollar Sha-la-la-la-la-la ninety-five.) Doo-doo-doo-doo!
--GROW FOR ME-- [Seymour] I've given you sunshine I've given you dirt You've given me nothin' But heartache and hurt! I'm beggin' you sweetly I'm down on my knees. Oh please- Grow for me.
I've given you plant food And water to sip I've given you pot-ash. You've given me zip. Oh god how I mist you Oh pod how you tease So please- Grow for me.
I've given you Southern exposure To get you to thrive I've pinched you back hard, Like I'm supposed ta, You're barely alive I've tried you at levels of moisture, From desert to mud.
I've given you grow-lights and mineral supplements. What do you want from me? Blood?
([Seymour] Ouch! Damn roses... damn thorns... Clumsy me. Hey Twoey, look what happened. Hey! You're opening up! Wonder what made you do that. I think I know what made you do that. Well, I guess a few drops couldn't hurt. Just don't make a habit out of it or anything.)
[Seymour] I've given you sunlight I've given you rain Looks like you're not happy 'less I open a vein! I'll give you a few drops If that'll appease Now please- Oh please- Grow for me?
--YA NEVER KNOW-- [Mushnik] I can't believe it It couldn't be happening Pinch me, girls It couldn't be happening All of this sudden success coming outta the blue!
[Girls] D'doo doo doo Doo d'doo doo doo
[Mushnik] I put a sign up Right in the front window An advertisement Right in the front window- "Stop in and see the amazing new plant, Audrey Two"
[Girls] T'two two two Doo d'doo doo doo
[Mushnik] And the really remarkable thing is that people, they do!
[Girls] D'doo doo doo Doop, they sure doo doo doo-
[Mushnik] Seymour that twerp of a klutz Finally did something right Audrey two drives 'em nuts What a blessing this wonderful plant should exist And should rake in the bucks for me hand over fist!
([Seymour] Well, how'd I do?)
([Chiffon] You was great, Seymour!)
([Crystal] You sounded sexier than the Wolfman!)
([Mushnik] But you didn't mention the address of the shop. How many times have I told you...)
([Seymour] I'm sorry. I was nervous. Where's Audrey? She said she'd be here.)
([Mushnik] Forget about Audrey. I've got three more radio interviews lined up for tomorrow and the Skid Row Herald Examiner wants a picture!)
([Seymour] If I had a mother, she'd be so happy.)
([Ronette] You're an overnight sensation, Seymour. Who'da believed it?)
[Ronnette] One day he pushed a broom Nothin' in his news but gloom and doom Then he lit a fuse and- Give him room- Stand aside and watch that Mother blow! Explosion! Bang! Kerboom! Don't it go to show ya never know?
[Girls] Seymour was In a funk He was number zero Who'da thunk He'd become a hero? Just a punk He was a forgotten so and so Then one day
[Seymour] Crash! Kerplunk!
[Girls] Don't it go to show ya never know?
([Chiffon] Sit down, Seymour. Chiffon gonna sing for ya.)
[Ronnette] All the world used to screw him Biff wham pow, Now they interview him And they clamor to put his remarks on the air! All the world used to hate him Now they're starting to 'preciate him All because of that strange little plant over there
[Girls] Observe him! Here's a chap Everything is landin' In his lap!
[Seymour] I just cut my hand and In a snap! Something out of Edgar Allen Poe has happened!
[Girls] Zam Kazap! Don't it go to show ya never know?
One day you're slingin' hash Feelin' so rejected Lightning flash! You get resurrected! Make a splash! Now you rate the big bravissimo! And with a thundercrash! Crash kerplunk! Bam kerboom! Zang kazunk! Zam kazoom! Zowee, powee Holy Cow, he Ordered up a rainbow to go Wow! Pow! Look out below! Don't it go to show Ya never know?
--SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN-- [Audrey] I know Seymour's the greatest But I'm dating a semi-sadist. So I've got a black eye And my arm's in a cast.
Still, that Seymour's a cutie. Well, if not, he's got inner beauty. And I dream of a place Where we could be together at last-
([Crystal] What kind of place is that, honey? An emergency room?)
([Audrey] Oh, no. It's just a daydream of mine. A little development I dream of. Just off the interstate. Not fancy, like Levett (sp?) Town. Just a little street, little suburb, far far from urban Skid Row. The sweetest, greenest place. Where everybody has the same little lawn out front, and the same little flagstone patio out back. All the houses are so neat and pretty 'cause they all look just alike. I dream about it all the time. Just me, and the toaster... and a sweet little guy. Like Seymour.)
[Audrey] A matchbox of our own A fence of real chain link A grill out on the patio Disposal in the sink A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine In a tract house that we share Somewhere that's green
He rakes and trims the grass He loves to mow and weed I cook like Betty Crocker And I look like Donna Reed There's plastic on the furniture To keep it neat and clean In the Pine-Sol scented air, Somewhere that's green
Between our frozen dinner And our bed-time: nine-fifteen We snuggle watching Lucy On our big, enormous Twelve-inch screen
I'm his December Bride He's father, he knows best The kids watch Howdy Doody As the sun sets in the west A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine Far from Skid Row I dream we'll go somewhere that's... green
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 6, 2007 21:27:45 GMT -8
--CLOSED FOR RENOVATION-- [Seymour] We're closed for renovation For spiffing up and grooming 'Cause customers are flocking and business has been booming We need refrigeration In our new, improved display- So we're closed for renovation today.
([Mushnik] Yes, indeed. This is the shop you heard about on Channel Five news. Yes, the Audrey Two is on display exclusively here!)
[Seymour and Audrey] We're closed for decoration 'Cause fortune has been smiling So now we're due for painting New plumbing, and re-tiling. We'll make a ship-shop showplace of our little shop and then, tomorrow, we'll be open again.
([Mushnik] Aren't you finished yet?)
([Seymour] I'm doing my best, but all these band-aids make it kinda hard.)
([Audrey] You've been getting hurt so much lately.)
([Seymour] Er... I know... seems like every time I pick up a pruning shears, I slip.)
[All] We're closed for renovation For swabbing-down and brooming 'Cause business has been thriving Since Audrey Two's been blooming The phones have not stopped ringing with the customers who say:
[Seymour] Another bunch of peonies
[Audrey] Another dozen daisies, please
[Seymour] Geraniums, anemones
[Audrey] Forget-me-nots and fleurs-de-lis
[Mushnik] With gratis home deliveries
[All] On paid-in-fulls and C.O.D.'s We're closed for renovation- Today!!!
--DENTIST!-- ([Orin] When I was younger, Just a bad little kid, My momma noticed funny things I did- Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun. I'd poison guppies, and when I was done, I'd find a pussycat and bash in it's head. Thats when my momma said...)
([Girls] What did she say?)
([Orin] She said my boy I think someday You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay!)
[Orin] You'll be a Dentist! You have a talent for causing things pain Son, be a dentist! People will pay you to be inhumane Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less! Son, be a dentist! You'll be a success!
([Ronette] Here he is, girls, the leader of the plaque.)
([Chiffon] Watch him suck up that gas! Oh my God!)
([Crystal] He's a Dentist and he'll never-ever be any good!)
([Girls] Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?)
([Girls] Oh, that hurts! I'm not numb!)
([Orin] Aw, shut up! Open wide! Here I come!)
[Orin] I am your Dentist!
[Girls] Goodness Gracious!
[Orin] And I enjoy the career that I picked!
[Girls] You love it [Orin] I am your Dentist!
[Girls] Fitting braces!
[Orin] And I get off on the pain I inflict!
[Girls] You really love it!
[Orin] When I start extracting your molars You girls will be screaming like holy rollers And though it may cause my patients distress
[Girls] Distress!
[Orin] Somewhere in heaven above me, I know that my mama's proud of me! Cause I'm a dentist... And a success!
([Orin] Say "Ah"!)
([Girls] Ah!)
([Orin] Say "Ah"!)
([Girls] Ah!)
([Orin] Say "Ah"!)
([Girls] Ah!)
([Orin] Now, spit!)
MUSHNIK AND SON [Mushnik] He'll think about it? He'll think about it?
([Seymour, calling outside as he starts to spray the plant] I don't like that guy, Mr. Mushnik. And you should hear the way he talks to Audrey.)
[Mushnik] Gott in Himmel, no The kid just said he'd mull it over!
([Seymour, to himself as he works] No wonder she looks so unhealthy. It's enough to make you sick.)
[Mushnik] If he left me If Seymour left me Why then I'd be Right back where I started Which was broke and starving
([Seymour, still to himself] Sweet and good and beautiful as she is, she deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him!)
[Mushnik] Close to Bankrupt
([Seymour, still to himself] What a louse.)
[Mushnik] Beset, befuddled, and bereft That's what I'd be if Seymour left!
([Seymour, still to himself] He's a disgrace to the dental profession.)
([Mushnik] Seymour!)
([Seymour] Sir?)
[Mushnik] Seymour- How would you like to be my son? How would you like to be my own adopted boy? (I never liked him much, before But count the cash that's in the drawer I've got no choice! I'm much too poor.) Say yes!
[Seymour] What for?
[Mushnik] Seymour, I want to be your dad! I wanna see you climbing up my family tree. I used to think you left a stench but now I see that you're a mench, So I'm proposing! Be my son!
Mushnik and son Sound great Three words with the ring of fate So say you'll incorporate with me A florist's dream come true Mushnik and his boychik, you What business we'll do for F.T.D.
How 'bout it, Seymour? Be my son! Just say the word, I'll have my lawyer on the phone!
[Seymour] Now, Mr. Mushnik, don't be rash You always said that I was trash
[Mushnik] Oh, I was joking!
([Seymour] Sir, I'm choking!)
[Mushnik] 'Scuse the physical expression of my pride Of the sweet paternal mishegoss I've held pen-up - Insi-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ide!
([Seymour] Gee.)
([Mushnik] So?)
([Seymour] Well...)
([Mushnik] Well?)
([Seymour] I...)
([Mushnik] You?)
[Mushnik] Go ahead and say it, Seymour. Tell me that you will....
[Seymour] Gee, I'd really like to, but...
[Mushnik] I'll hold my breath until...
([Seymour] Okay... You win, I'll be your son!)
([Mushnik] Hooray, I win! He'll be my son!)
[Seymour] Draw up the papers, Dad I'm touched, I really am And when you reach age eighty-three I'll let you come move in with me
([Mushnik] You swear?)
([Seymour] I promise!)
[Mushnik] What a son!
[Both] Mushnik and Son That's that
[Seymour] Officially, I'm your brat!
[Both] Consider the matter closed and done. Now, to the world, let's stick our senior and junior shtick. Through thin and through thick, Through sloppy and slick,
[Seymour] So come kiss me quick!
[Mushnik] Please, don't make me sick!
[Both] Mushnik- And son!
([Seymour] His son. I'm his son!)
--FEED ME/GIT IT-- [Seymour] Sudden changes surround me Lady luck came and found me Thanks a million for making the magic you do. Thanks to you Sweet Petunia Mushnik's takin'... a juniah, (XD Yes, he says it like that) And someday when I own this whole shop, I'll remember I owe it to you.
[AUDREY II] Feed me!
([Seymour] Does it have to be human?)
[Audrey II] Feed me!
([Seymour] Does it have to be mine?)
[Audrey II] Feed me!
([Seymour] Where am I supposed to get it?)
[Audrey II] Feed me, Seymour Feed me all night long That's right, boy You can do it Feed me, Seymour Feed me all night long 'Cause if you feed me, Seymour I can grow up big and strong
([Seymour] Let's face it, Twoey. You eat blood. What am I supposed to do, kill people?)
([Audrey II] I'll make it worth your while.)
([Seymour] ...what!?)
([Audrey II] You think this is all a coincidence, baby? The sudden success around here? Your ADOPTION PAPERS?)
([Seymour] Look, you're a plant. An inanimate object.)
([Audrey II] Does this look inanimate to you!? If I can talk, and I can move, who's to say I can't do anything I want?)
([Seymour] Like what?)
([Audrey II] Like deliver, pal. Like see you get everything your sacred, greasy heart desires!)
[Audrey II] Would you like a Cadillac car? Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? How about a date with Hedy Lamar? You gonna git it.
Would you like to be a big wheel, Dinin' out for every meal? I'm the plant that can make it all real You gonna git it
I'm your genie, I'm your friend I'm your willing slave Take a chance, just feed me and You know the kinda eats, The kinda red hot treats The kinda sticky licky sweets I crave
Come on, Seymour, don't be a putz Trust me and your life will surely rival King Tut's Show a little 'nitiative, work up the guts And you'll git it
[SEYMOUR] I don't know. I don't know I have so, so many strong reservations Should I go and perform mutilations?
[AUDREY II] Think about a room at the Ritz Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz A little nookie gonna clean up your zits And you'll git it
[Girls] Get it Get it Get it Get it Get it Get it Get it GET IT!
[SEYMOUR] Gee I'd like a Harley machine, Toolin' around like I was James Dean, Makin' all the guys on the corner turn green
[AUDREY II] So go git it If you wanna be profound And you really gotta justify Take a breath and look around A lot of folks deserve to die
([Seymour] Wait a minute, wait a minute! That's not a very nice thing to say!)
([Audrey II] But it's true, isn't it?)
([Seymour] NO! I don't know anyone who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!)
([Audrey II] Sure you do.)
([ORIN] Stupid woman! Christ, what a freakin' scatterbrain! Forgets her stupid sweater!)
([Audrey] Sorry Doctor, sorry Doctor!)
([Orin] Now get the hell in there and pick up your goddamn sweater, you ditzy cow!)
([Audrey] Yes Doctor, right away, Doctor! H-hi Seymour, I left my sweater here before!)
([Orin] Move it, you little slut! Can you believe that dame!? Forgets her freakin' sweater! Jesus Christ, if your stupid head weren't screwed on...)
([Audrey] Orin, that hurt!)
([Orin] MOVE IT!)
[SEYMOUR & AUDREY II] If you want a rationale It isn't very hard to see Stop and think it over, pal The guy sure looks like plant food to me.
[SEYMOUR] He's so nasty, treatin' her rough,
[AUDREY II] Smackin' her around and always talkin' so tough.
[SEYMOUR & AUDREY II] You/I need blood and he's got more than enough You/I need blood and he's got more than enough You/I need blood and he's got more than enough
[AUDREY II] So go git it!
--NOW/IT'S JUST THE GAS-- [SEYMOUR] Now, do it now While he's gassing himself to a palpable stupor The timing's ideal and the moment is super To ready and fire and blow the sick bastard away
Now, do it now Just a flicker of pressure right here, on the trigger And Audrey won't have to put up that pig for another day Now- for the girl, now- for the plant Now- yes I will... but I can't
([Orin] Oh boy Seymour, I'm really flyin' now! Well, I guess I've had about enough of this stuff, I think I'll just take the mask off now, and, uh... Hey Seymour, guess what?)
([Seymour] What?)
([Orin] It's stuck.)
([Seymour] WHAT!?)
([Orin] The mask, it's stuck. I can't get it off. [to himself] Jesus Christ, I could asphyxiate in here... [laughing] Hey Seymour, give me a hand, will ya?)
([Seymour] Well...)
([Orin] [imitates Seymour] "Well"? He says "Well"? Oh Seymour, I don't think you understand!)
[ORIN] Don't be fooled if I should giggle Like a sappy, happy dope It's just the gas, it's got me high But don't let that fact deceive you Any moment I could die Though I giggle and I chortle, Bear in mind I'm not immortal Why this whole thing strikes me funny I don't know- 'cause it really is a rotten way to go
[SEYMOUR] What we have here is an ethical dilemma 'Less I help him get the mask removed, He doesn't have a prayer True the gun as never fired, But the way events transpired, I could finish him with simple laissez-faire
What we have here is a tricky moral problem,
[Orin] Help!
[Seymour] do I help remove the mask or let him go for lack of air?
[Orin] Do it now!
[Seymour] couldn't shoot him when I tried,
[Orin] Help me now!
[Seymour] but the fates are on my side,
[Orin] Now!
[Seymour] I can off the guy by staying in the chair
[ORIN] Don't be fooled if I should chuckle Like hyenas in a zoo It's just the gas, it turns me on But don't let my mirth deceive you Any moment I'll be gone All my vital signs are failing 'Cause the oxide I'm inhaling Makes it difficult as hell to catch my breath Are you dumb or hard of hearing? Or relieved my end is nearing? Are you satisfied? I laughed myself to...
[SEYMOUR] Death?
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 7, 2007 5:50:16 GMT -8
--CALL BACK IN THE MORNING-- ([Audrey] Mushnik and Son, Skid Row's favorite florist, can you hold? Mushnik and Son, Skid Row's favorite florist, can you hold? Seymour, can you help me with these phones?)
([Seymour] Mushnik and Son, Skid Row's favorite florist, can you hold, please?)
([Audrey] Now, you were saying?)
[Audrey] Flowers for a prom corsage?
[Seymour] Flowers for an entourage?
[Audrey] Flowers to the funeral home?
[Seymour] Leaving from St Andrew's Roman Catholic Church at Ninth and Vine?
[Audrey] Forty dollars. Hold the line.
[Seymour] First thing in the morning.
[Audrey] Fine
[Seymour] There'll be there in the morning!
[Audrey] Can you hold? The Rose Bowl! Seymour, the Rose Bowl! You know that big, Inflated estimate we wrote? For the Rose Bowl? Well, it's the Rose Bowl! It seems they want to buy The flowers here For every single float!
([Audrey] You can't keep the tournament waiting!)
[Seymour] Mushik & Son...
[Audrey] can you hold?
[Seymour] Please hold,
[Audrey] can you hold?
[Seymour] It's just as the plant foretold
[Audrey] Just a minute
[Seymour] It's business like who'd have ever guessed.
[Audrey] Mushnik & Son,
[Seymour] that was me!
[Audrey] Please wait,
[Seymour] that was me...
[Audrey] The business is doing great...
[Seymour] On channel three!
[Audrey] So why am I feeling so depressed?
([Seymour] I'll get two tickets to the game?)
[Audrey] Seven thousand boutonnières? Carnations or the yellow roses?
[Seymour] Please, I've only got two ears! Allergic to chrysanthemums?
[Audrey] Hollyhocks are hardier, Which ones would your wife prefer?
[Seymour] Were you waiting long? I'm sorry sir! One minute, and I'll get her for you!
[Audrey] Seymour, that reporter-
[Seymour] What? I thought we finished yesterday!
[Audrey] She wants another interview Said to bring the plant with you
[Seymour] Audrey, it's that new account
[Audrey] Sorry, that's the right amount
[Seymour] Daisies only come in white
[Audrey] Sir, I'm too worn out to fight
[Seymour] Sorry, those are out of stock
[Audrey] Seymour! Look! It's six o'clock!
[Seymour] Call back in the morning, will you?
[Audrey] Call back in the morning, won't you?
[Seymour] Call back in the morning, can you?
[Audrey] Call back in the morning, thank you!
[Both] Call back in the morning!
--SUDDENLY, SEYMOUR-- [SEYMOUR] Lift up your head Wash off your mascara Here, take my Kleenex Wipe that lipstick away Show me your face Clean as the morning I know things were bad But now they're okay
Suddenly, Seymour Is standing beside you You don't need no makeup Don't have to pretend Suddenly, Seymour Is here to provide you Sweet understanding Seymour's your friend
[AUDREY] Nobody ever Treated me kindly Daddy left early Mama was poor I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly He'd snap his fingers Me, I'd say "sure"
Suddenly, Seymour Is standing beside me He don't give me orders He don't condescend Suddenly, Seymour Is here to provide me Sweet understanding Seymour's my friend
[SEYMOUR] Tell me this feeling Lasts 'til forever Tell me the bad times are clean, washed away
[AUDREY] Please understand that it's Still strange and frightenin' For losers like I've been It's so hard to say...
[AUDREY] Suddenly, Seymour
[SEYMOUR AND DOWNTOWN GIRLS] Suddenly, Seymour
[AUDREY] He purified me
[SEYMOUR AND DOWNTOWN GIRLS] He purified you
[AUDREY] Suddenly, Seymour
[SEYMOUR AND DOWNTOWN GIRLS] Suddenly, Seymour
[AUDREY] Showed me I can
[SEYMOUR AND DOWNTOWN GIRLS] Yes you can!
[ALL] Learn how to be more
[AUDREY] The girl that's inside me
[SEYMOUR AND DOWNTOWN GIRLS] OOH, OOH, OOH
[SEYMOUR] With sweet understanding
[AUDREY] With sweet understanding
[SEYMOUR] With sweet understanding
[AUDREY] With sweet understanding
[ALL] Sweet understanding Seymour's my (your) MAN!
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 7, 2007 22:45:50 GMT -8
THE LAST SET OF LYRICS! WHOO! -------
--SUPPERTIME I-- ([Seymour] What does that have to do with- What are you doing!?)
([Mushnik] If you want something removed in a hurry, it's best not to dispose of it on Skid Row!)
([Seymour] What are you talking about?)
([Mushnik] This! A dentist uniform!)
[AUDREY II] He's got your number now...
([Mushnik] I saw it last week and didn't think twice.)
[Audrey II] He knows just what you've done...
([Mushnik] The little red dots seemed innocent enough-)
[Audrey II] You got no place to hide...
([Mushnik] But now I catch you kissing the dentist's girlfriend!)
[Audrey II] You got nowhere to run...
([Mushik] And it's beginning to look like a motive.)
[Audrey II] He knows your life of crime-
([Mushnik] Once he's out of the way, you move in- right!?)
[Audrey II] I think it's suppertime
([Seymour] I'm innocent, I'm innocent!)
([Mushnik] Then how do you explain this!?)
([Seymour] A picture of a baseball cap?)
([Mushnik] YOUR baseball cap. They found it in Scrivello's office. They showed it to me and asked me to identify it.)
([Seymour] Well, did you?)
([Mushnik] No. They don't suspect you at all, Seymour. But they don't know about the dots, the jacket, the GIRLFRIEND!)
([Seymour] I-I didn't do it!)
([Mushnik] Then come with me to the police and tell THEM that!)
[Audrey II] He's got his facts all straight...
([Mushnik] Just so my conscience will rest easy.)
[Audrey II] You know he's on your trail...
([Mushnik] If you don't go, I'll have to go down there myself.)
[Audrey II] He's gonna turn you in...
([Mushnik] Now, will you come?)
[Audrey II] They're gonna put you in jail...
([Seymour] Okay...)
[Audrey II] He's got the goods and I'm...
([Mushnik] I'll go lock up.)
[Audrey II] All set for suppertime! Come on, come on Think about all those offers! Come on, come on Your future with Audrey! Come on, come on Ain't no time to turn squeamish! Come on, come on I swear on all my spores when he's gone, the world will be yours!
([Mushnik] Okay Seymour, let's go.)
[Girls] Come on, come on...
([Seymour] Uh... don't you want to collect the day's receipts so you can deposit them in the morning?)
[Girls] Come on, come on...
([Mushnik] You put them in the safe, didn't you?)
[Girls] Come on, come on...
([Seymour] Uh... no.)
([Mushnik] Why not!?)
[Girls] It's suppertime
([Seymour] I, uh, forgot the combination.)
([Mushnik] It's worth thousands of dollars! Where is it!?)
([Seymour] In the plant.)
([Mushnik] In the plant?)
([Seymour] I-it's the safest place I could think of! No thief would think to look in there, right?)
([Mushnik] My money's inside the plant? Then how am I supposed to get it!?)
([Seymour] Uh... just knock.)
([Mushnik] Just... Knock!? Seymour... Seymour... SEYMOUR! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHHH!)
--THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT-- ([Chiffon] There he is, girls! I found him! There's Seymour!)
([Crystal] Seymour, can we have your autograph?)
([Ronnette] We saw you on Channel Five news!)
([Chiffon] You looked so handsome!)
([Ronnette] And you're gonna be so rich!)
([Seymour] Please girls, not now...)
([Crystal] Is it true Audrey II's grand marshal (*is that right?*) for the Rose Bowl?)
([Ronnette] Is it true the shop is decorating the senior prom?)
([Seymour] It's all true! Now, please-)
([Chiffon] There's another big hotshot lookin' for you, Seymour. From uptown. He's been askin' all over where can he find you.)
([Crystal] You're famous, Seymour!)
([Bernstein] Is that him?)
([Chiffon] That's him, Mr. Bernstein.)
([Bernstein] Thank you, girls. Seymour Krelbourn, sweetie, honey, baby, pussycat...)
([Seymour] Do I know you?)
([Bernstein] Of course not, but are you gonna be happy when you do! Seymour... Sweetheart! Dollface, bubbelah!
[Bernstein] Hey Seymour Krelborn, you prince you My name is Bernstein, I'm with N.B.C. I came down here to convince you To do a weekly T.V. show for me Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips
([Bernstein] You like it? I LOVE it!)
[Bernstein] For half and hour on Saturday's at four T.V.'s first home-gardeing program You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar
[Girls] They say the meek shall inherit You know the book doesn't lie It's not a question of merit It's not demand and supply They say the meek gonna get it And you a meek little guy You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em by and by
([Crystal] Your own TV show, Seymour!)
([Chiffon] Coast-to-coast! Your name in lights!)
([Ronnette] Your face on screen!)
([Girls] Sign it! Sign it! Sign that contract!)
([Chiffon] Isn't it exciting?)
([Crystal] Here he is, Mrs. Luce! We found him, he's right here!)
([Mrs. Luce] Oh! My darling, my precious, my sweet, sweet thing! I'm so delighted to make your acquaintance! Cutie, sweetness, Seymour... Babydoll!)
[Mrs. Luce] I'd like a word with you, lover I'm sure you know me, the Editor's wife We want your face on the cover of the December 3rd issue of Life! Yes, the front of Life Magazine! Thats an honor we so seldom grant We'll send someone down, let's say Thursday for shots of you and your beautiful plant
[Girls] They say the meek shall inherit You know the book doesn't lie It's not a question of merit It's not demand and supply They say the meek gonna get it And you a meek little guy You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em by and by
([Chiffon] Life magazine! Oh my goodness, Seymour, you gonna make it straight to the top!)
([Crystal] How did you do it?)
([Ronnette] Here he is, sir! The incredible Seymour Krelbourn, owner of the fabulous Audrey II! America's most amazing- and largest- unidentified plant!)
([Skip Snip] SO! This is Seymour Krelbourn. Ha! We've been trying to reach you! Baby, your line's been busy. Did you get our telegram?)
([Seymour] I-I don't think so...)
([Skip Snip] Well, it's a good thing I came down in person. Pleased to meet ya, kid. Skip Snip, William Morris Agency.)
[Skip Snip] Forget the cable we sent you It's nice to meet you, the pleasure is yours Now let my firm represent you We want to book you on lecturing tours College campus, Rotary Club The kind of bookings my office can do Show the plant, then talk, answer questions It's educational, lucrative too
[SEYMOUR] Mys future's starting, I've got to let it Stick with that plant and, gee, My bank account will thrive! What am I saying? No way! Forget it! it's much too dangerous to keep that plant alive! I take these offers, That means more killing... Who knew success would come with Messy, nasty strings? I sign these contracts That means I'm willing to keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things!
No! No! There's only so far you can bend! No! No! This nightmare must come to an end! No! No! You've got no alternative Seymour, old boy, Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed it's the only solution, It can't be avoided- The vegetable must be destroyed!
But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey... If life were tawdry and impoverished as before... she might not like me, she might not want me- Without my plant, she might not love me anymore!
[Girls] They say the meek shall inherit
[Seymour] Where do I sign?
[Girls] You know the book doesn't lie
[Skip Snip] Right on the line!
[Girls] It's not a question of merit
[Skip Snip] That'll be fine-
[Girls] It's not demand and supply
[Skip Snip] This copy's mine!
[Girls] You'll make a fortune, we swear it
[Skip Snip] Couldn't go wrong...
[Girls] if on this fact you rely
[Skip Snip] Bye-bye, so long!
[Seymour, Girls] You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em! You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em! You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em! By... and... by!
--SOMINEX/SUPPERTIME II-- [AUDREY] I couldn't sleep I took a Sominex But voices in my head kept saying Go to Seymour, talk to Seymour I drank some tea But gee the feeling wasn't gone Seymour, sweetheart Tell me, darling What's been going on?
[AUDREY II] Hey little lady, hello
([Audrey] Wh-who said that?)
[Audrey II] You're lookin' cute as can be...
([Audrey] Is somebody in there?)
[Audrey II] You're lookin' mighty sweet-
([Audrey] Seeeeymour... Seymour?)
[Audrey II] No, it ain't Seymour- it's me!
([Audrey] Oh... my... God.)
[Audrey II] You're friendly Audrey Two This plant is talking to you
([Audrey] I-I don't believe it!)
([Audrey II] Believe it, baby- it talks!)
([Audrey] Am I dreaming this?)
([Audrey II] No. And you ain't in Kansas, neither.)
([Audrey] There's something very wrong here...)
([Audrey II] Relax, and go with it, doll. But... do me a favor, will you, sweetheart?)
([Audrey] A favor?)
([Audrey II] I need some water in the worst way. Just look at my branches- I'm a goner, honey!)
[Audrey II] Come on and give me a drink
([Audrey] I don't know if I should!}
[Audrey II] Hey, little lady, be nice!
([Audrey] You just want water, right?)
[Audrey II] Sure do! I'll drink it straight
([Audrey] Your branches ARE dry, poor thing...)
[Audrey II] Don't need no glass or no ice
([Audrey] I'll get the can.)
[Audrey II] Don't need no twist of lime-
([Audrey] Here we go!)
[Audrey II] And now it's suppertime!
([Audrey] Help!)
([Audrey II] Aw, relax. It'll be easier! Come join Mushnik, and your dentist friend- they're right inside!)
([Audrey] Seymour! HELP!)
([Seymour] Get off of her! GET OFF OF HER!)
--SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN REPRISE-- ([Seymour] Audrey, are you all right?)
([Audrey] Yes! ...no...)
([Seymour] Don't die, Audrey! I need you! Please, please don't die!)
([Audrey] You know... the plant said the strangest thing just now. It said that Orin and Mr. Mushnik were already inside!)
([Seymour] It's true, I did it. I fed them to it.)
([Audrey] And that's what made it so big and strong, and you so famous?)
([Seymour] I've done terrible things, Audrey, but not to you. NEVER to you.)
([Audrey] But I want you to, Seymour!)
([Seymour] ...what!?)
([Audrey] When I die- which should be very shortly- give me to the plant! So it can live, and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve!)
([Seymour] Audrey, you don't know what you're saying!)
([Audrey] But I do! It's the one gift I can give you! And if I'm in the plant, then I'm part of the plant! And, in a way, we'll always be together!)
[AUDREY] You'll wash my tender leaves, You'll smell my sweet perfume; You'll water me, and care for me, You'll see me bud and bloom... I'm feeling strangely happy now, Contented and serene... Don't you see... Finally I'll be... Somewhere that's green
--FINALE ULTIMO/DON'T FEED THE PLANTS-- [CRYSTAL] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed Similar events in cities across America Events which bore a striking resemblance To the ones you have just seen- began occurring
[Girls] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed, Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California Made the acquaintance of a new breed of flytrap And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood. Thus the plants worked their terrible will Finding jerks who would feed them their fill And the plants proceeded to grow and grow- and grow And begin what they came here to do Which was essentially to
[CRYSTAL] Eat Cleveland
[CHIFFON] and Des Moines
[RONETTE] And Peoria
[ALL] and New York- and this theatre!
[Curtain rises to reveal a giant Audrey II with four buds- one for each "victim"]
[ALL] They may offer you fortune and fame Love and money and instant acclaim But whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants
[MUSHNIK] They may offer you lots of cheap thrills
[SEYMOUR] Fancy condos in Beverly Hills
[ORIN] But whatever they offer you
[AUDREY] Don't feed the plants
[ALL] Look out! Here comes Audrey Two! Look out!
[AUDREY II] Here I come for you!
[MUSHNIK] Here I come for you!
[SEYMOUR] Here I come for you!
[ORIN & AUDREY] Here I come for you!
[ALL] Hold your hat and hang on to your soul Something's coming to eat the world whole If we fight it we've still got a chance But whatever they offer you Though they're slopping the trough for you Please, whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants
[SEYMOUR & AUDREY] We'll have tomorrow
[ALL] Don't feed the plants!
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Barrel
Henchman
Opener of the Lament Configuration
Posts: 8,908
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Post by Barrel on Nov 11, 2007 21:49:14 GMT -8
NOW/IT'S JUST THE GAS scene. ------------ [There is dramatic-sounding musical intermission music playing while the stage goes dark, and a dentist chair and Scrivello's office are being set up as the curtain closes on the shop. Scrivello himself stands next to the chair, back to audience. Once the music ends, he whirls around, and yells...]
Orin: NEXT!
Seymour: *looks around to see an empty waiting room* I-I guess that's me, Doctor Scrivello. *walks into office, clutching a Mushnik & Son delivery bag with a gun inside*
Orin: Do you have an appointment?
Seymour: Uh... we met yesterday? Seymour Krelbourn?
Orin: Oh, right. You're the guy with the plant.
Seymour: Right.
Orin: And the bandages.
Seymour: Right. *pulls out gun, points it at Orin*
Orin: And the gun.
Seymour: Right!
Orin: So, why are you pointing a gun at me, Seymour?
Seymour: I... I... I...
Orin: Are you a little nervous about seeing a dentist? *takes gun and sets it down with his dentist tools*
Seymour: No, I'm not nervous! I, uh-
Orin: Oh, it's only going to hurt a little!
Seymour: No, you don't understand! I'm not here to get my teeth examined!
Orin: Of course you're here to get your teeth examined! Now, say 'ah'.
Seymour: No.
Orin: *grabs Seymour's shoulders and pulls him down into something sort of like a dip in pairs dancing* SAY 'AH'! *knocks Seymour's hat off*
Seymour: *screams* AHHHH!
Orin: Oh, your mouth is a mess, kid! You've got cavities, you've got plaque, you're impacted, you're abscessed...
Seymour: I am?
Orin: We'll start with that wisdom tooth.
Seymour: Uh, no...
Orin: We'll just RIP that bugger right outta there, whaddya say? *pushes Seymour into dentist chair*
Seymour: I-I-I gotta go! *trying to get out of chair*
Orin: *pushes Seymour back into chair* There's ALWAYS time for dental hygiene, Seymour. Have you ever seen the results of a neglected mouth?
Seymour: No...
Orin: Look closely, Seymour! *pulls out his random rotten mouth picture* THIS could happen to YOU!
Seymour: *nervously* I-it could!? *stares*
Orin: Unless I take immediate action! Let's get started.
Seymour: *watching Orin* Aren't you gonna use Novocaine?
Orin: *searching through tools* What for? Dulls the senses.
Seymour: But it'll hurt!
Orin: Only 'til you pass out! *grabs his drill*
Seymour: What's that!?
Orin: That's the drill, Seymour.
Seymour: But it's rusty!
Orin: It's an antique! They don't make 'em like this anymore! Sturdy... heavy... DULL. *grins, puts drill close to Seymour's mouth*
Seymour: *panicking quietly*
Orin: This is gonna be a challenge! This is gonna be a pleasure. I'm gonna want some gas for this one. *sets drill aside*
Seymour: Gas?
Orin: *over shoulder, walking away* Nitrous oxide.
Seymour: Oh thank god! I thought you weren't gonna use any! *much calmer now, even smiling a little*
Orin: *pauses, turns back to Seymour* Oh, the gas isn't for YOU, Seymour. It's for ME. You see, I find a little giggle gas before we begin increases my pleasure enormously. In fact, I'm gonna use my special gas mask! Just relax, Seymour, I'll be with you in a moment! *runs offstage*
--START MUSIC-- [SEYMOUR] *gets up from chair, grabs his gun, and sits back down* Now, do it now While he's gassing himself to a palpable stupor The timing's ideal and the moment is super To ready and fire and blow the sick bastard away
*maniacal laughing is heard from off-stage*
Now, do it now Just a flicker of pressure right here, on the trigger And Audrey won't have to put up that pig for another day Now- for the girl, now- for the plant Now- yes I will... *raises gun high, points it in the direction Scrivello has gone* ...but I can't. *lowers gun and droops*
*Orin enters, wearing his gas mask and grinning like a fool*
Orin: Oh boy, Seymour, I'm really flyin' now! Well, I guess I've had about enough of this stuff, I think I'll just take the mask off now, and, uh... *tugs at mask a few times, grin fading* Hey Seymour, guess what?
Seymour: What?
Orin: It's stuck.
Seymour: WHAT!?
Orin: The mask, it's stuck. I can't get it off. *to himself* Jesus Christ, I could asphyxiate in here... *laughing* Hey Seymour, give me a hand, will ya?
Seymour: Well...
Orin: *imitates Seymour* "Well"? He says "Well"? Oh Seymour, I don't think you understand!
[ORIN] Don't be fooled if I should giggle Like a sappy, happy dope It's just the gas, it's got me high But don't let that fact deceive you Any moment I could die Though I giggle and I chortle, Bear in mind I'm not immortal Why this whole thing strikes me funny I don't know- 'cause it really is a rotten way to go
[SEYMOUR] What we have here is an ethical dilemma 'Less I help him get the mask removed, He doesn't have a prayer True the gun as never fired, But the way events transpired, I could finish him with simple laissez-faire What we have here is a tricky moral problem,
[Orin] Help!
[Seymour] do I help remove the mask or let him go for lack of air?
[Orin] Do it now!
[Seymour] couldn't shoot him when I tried,
[Orin] Help me now!
[Seymour] but the fates are on my side,
[Orin] Now! *collapses and lies still*
[Seymour] I can off the guy by staying in the chair
[ORIN] *stays still for a moment, almost as if he were dead- but then suddenly jumps up* Don't be fooled if I should chuckle Like hyenas in a zoo It's just the gas, it turns me on But don't let my mirth deceive you Any moment I'll be gone All my vital signs are failing 'Cause the oxide I'm inhaling Makes it difficult as hell to catch my breath Are you dumb or hard of hearing? Or relieved my end is nearing? Are you satisfied? I laughed myself to... *dies*
[SEYMOUR] Uh... Death?
Orin: *twitch*
--END MUSIC-- (Yes, the does music play even during the speaking in the song.)
[The Act I Finale starts playing as Scrivello and the office are dragged offstage, the curtains closing. The girls begin, only to be interrupted by shouts of "FEED ME!" and "MORE!" from Audrey II. The curtain opens to reveal Seymour feeding pieces of the dentist to his plant, finally just dumping the bucket into its mouth. Audrey II begins laughing evilly. It is now time for the INTERMISSION.]
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